November Thanksgiving Get-together

Be sure to go to our yahoo group: (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/marriage_life_group/database)

to sign up so I will know, who to plan for and what you would like to bring. The earlier the better so we can plan accordingly. Hope to see you all there!

We are grateful to have such a great group of friends to share this journey of marriage!

Blessed beyond Measure,

Regina & James

November Meeting Options

I would like to offer a Thanksgiving family get-together for our November meeting. This will be on the 4th Saturday, Nov. 28th, as our usual meeting time. If you will be available and want to do this please let me know so we can plan it.

Sept. Meeting coming up!

Be sure to log on and bookmark our new yahoo group: 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/marriage_life_group/database

and sign up for the meeting! 

August Meeting Recap

Can you say Powerful message, Great discussion & Fellowship full of Fun???

It's amazing how each month just supersedes each of the previous. Of course as a believer we should always expect that from our Amazing God, especially when we are seeking Him!

I really don't know that I can do justice to the message this month as it was truly an anointed message and one I wish all married couples would seek, hear and act upon. 

The basis of this message is shedding light upon the truth that marriage is The Enemy of Satan as it is (or should be) the image of God in this world in unity with the Son and the Holy Spirit!

Marriage was never meant to be just man and woman, but it was from creation God, man & woman joined together in unity. Just as God The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit are 3 in 1 joined together, so it is with marriage as the image of that union~God the creator, the husband (man) as to reflect the Son & the wife (woman) to reflect The Holy Spirit. It was when man and woman rebelled against God's divine plan that began the fall of marriage and life on this earth. 

When we don't live life as we were designed to live life then failure is inevitable. And when we claim marriage we become a direct enemy to Satan and he is stealthy to steal, kill & destroy all things that would reflect the image of God. And when we claim to be a christian/follower of Christ it only adds to his purpose to destroy. So, when we do not invest ALL we are in living as God ordains in submission to His Word, Will & Spirit we are simply trying to ignore the real fight hoping Satan is either not real or not interested in us. 

Marriage is about living for the betterment of the others you are joined with in unity. God is the Creator and Supreme Authority over all things, Jesus Christ the Son of God was created to serve others and stand in with sacrificial love for his bride and the Holy Spirit was given as The Comforter, Helpmate who exhibits the fruits of the Spirit! 

How can we continue to ask God to help us when we are not doing what He asks us to do?

If you want to live in the Paradise He provides then you must live within the boundaries of that paradise!!!

When your marriage is build on The Rock of Christ Jesus, The Authority of God & The Fruit of the Holy Spirit then you WILL have a Marriage that enters Paradise, in this life!

August Meeting

Well it's time we meet again!!!

Be sure to look at the sidebar (on the right) for the details of the meeting. 

Leave a comment below to confirm you are coming and what you plan to bring!

See you Saturday with bells & whistles...

July Meeting Recap

WOW, you guys are AWESOME, but of course you already knew that, right?

Great food, great fellowship and great fun...

Discussions: 

Intentional Investment~

What does that mean?

Is it important? 

What are some things you intentionally invest in?

List 3 things you will do to promote an intentional investment into~

  Your relationship with Jesus

Your relationship with your spouse

Your relationship with your kids/grandkids

Your relationship with others

Video this month:  "Secret to being Best Friends"

#1 Reason for Marital problems~starts from the beginning of the relationship!

The divine purpose of 'Courtship' is to get to know each others heart's NOT bodies! 

Seven Foundations of Best Friendship

1. Faithfulness (Prov. 17:17)

2. Believing in one another (James 2:23; Gen. 12:1; Psalms 100:4)

3. Embrace your differences ~ 3 levels

a. reject others differences 

b. accept/tolerate others differences

c. celebrate others differences

4. Be real and transparent (John 15:15)

5. Be a pace of safety and refuge (Heb. 4:16; Gal. 5:22)

6. Be fun, creative and positive (Prov. 18:24)

7. Bear each other's burdens

Marriage is about Sharing and you are not sharing if you expect your spouse to live in your world!

Be Best Friends

Marriages robbed of friendship are missing a vital element that makes that relationship a paradise. If friendship has grown cold in your marriage, or was never given an opportunity to develop at all, 'you' can change that. 

Time Change?

We have had some discussion about changing our meeting time to start at 5pm instead of 6pm to give us an earlier start. We kept the 6pm meeting time because I wasn't sure everyone was on board for the change. Therefore, I need everyone's input of which you would prefer. Post your comment below!

15th Anniversary

I must share and brag on my AMAZING husband/knight in shining armor/prince/& best friend!

We celebrated our 15th anniversary this year on July 9th, however on that day we sent our oldest daughter, Shayla, off to Africa for a month long mission trip. (Thanking Jesus for such a desire and opportunity he has provided her!)

So how does that make my hubby so amazing? Well, since we couldn't celebrate on that day he told me he had Saturday planned for us to celebrate. He sent me an email and said pack light and be ready to go on Saturday morning. 

I will spare all the details as this could be a romance novel (ahh, that's an idea~but maybe later), anyhow, he went to amazing lengths to plan a memorable anniversary, not missing one little detail and adding twice the effort as the first time. Ok, I'll share a tid-bit, he took me back to the place he proposed in Dallas and treated me like a queen for two wonderful days. Let me just say, "Richard Gear (in Pretty Woman) has Nothing on my husband!" I will never forget each and every moment of this anniversary! My husband not only told me happy 15th anniversary~I love you, but he showed me in great lengths how important our marriage is and how much I mean to him. 

The theme he proposed was that he loves me more than twice as much at 15 years as the day he proposed. I must say I love this man of mine more than twice as much as the day he proposed and not because he treated me like a queen for two days~although that did light a fire, but because he has remembered his first love in Jesus and made the decision to bless our marriage with more than the everyday, "You should know I love you by now, I come home and pay the bills." 

I praise God for answered prayers and for His amazing work in both of our lives as we continue to seek and grow and blossom into a beautiful thing called, "A Loving Marriage." My husband has changed the direction of our marriage from average and ordinary (like most) to extraordinary and full of joy! He, as the head of this unity, has set the new standard, which will bless our marriage from this point on and our children's view of marriage. I am encouraged to step it up and follow his lead. Praise the Lord from whom all blessings flow!!!

I fully realize none of us are perfect and this is neither about comparing who's greater nor condemning our spouse of what they are not doing . I pray this will be an encouragement in the right direction. We all have the same opportunity to make our marriage what we desire it to be, either a reflection of Christ's love for us or the world's standard of marriage. 

Remembering we will still have times of trouble to deal with and times where the romance is not so readily available. Furthermore, as we purposely invest in the loving relationship of our marriage, the stronger our bond becomes and the better we learn to deal with difficulties as we come together as one, rather than two opposing parties trying to get their way or be right all the time! 

When we build on 'The Rock' (Christ Jesus) as our foundation, we have an unseen wall of protection, hope and strength (by faith). However, when we are maintaining our marriages, as the rest of this world does, we will get caught up in constant disappointment and rocky foundations, where the storms rise and the walls come crashing in and you either rebuild or start over.   

Encouragement & Prayer: 

It really doesn't take much to melt a woman's heart~the purposed effort speaks louder than words by far!!!

Husbands if your desire is for your wife to cherish the time with you then show her often how much you cherish her! 

Gifts both simple and meaningful

Offering your time

Offering your listening ear

Doing something special for her often

Words of encouragement

Opening your heart

Romance her

Kindle the flames

Support her

It doesn't take much to win a man's heart and attention~being a woman of virtue, pleasant & exciting speaks louder than nagging and demands!

Wives if you want your husbands to treat you as a woman to be cherished then start supporting him & serving him with grace and remain in prayer by faith. 

Praise him often

Respond to his needs

Accept him as God's vessel

Inspire him to be a man of God

Serve him unselfishly

Encourage him often 

Help him as a helpmate

Invest in him 

Make prayer your tool

I pray blessing over every marriage in a hundred fold. May the enemies scheme's fail to divide families and the Lord's Power, Love, Mercy and Grace be poured out to full and overflowing upon those willing to seek your way which is right, follow your truth & invest in this blessed union with you, my Lord, and our marriage as a blessing and extension of our relationship with you.  Father change the hearts of each one who will look to you and face the truth about themselves and desire to be who you created them to be, not deserving, but full of gratitude and willing to give to others what you have so unselfishly given to us. Let us first love you and receive your loved that we would love unselfishly and with purpose. Take this world of distraction and disappointment and turn it into a harvest, in your Holy Name Jesus~The Christ~My Bridegroom!

July Meeting

The next get together will be (4th Saturday):

Saturday, July 25th

The Dunn's Home - 5pm

Date activity - (not planned yet)

Responses of attendance: 

Bass's

Chase's

Dunn's

Smith's

West's 

Hanson's

Be sure to join this blog as a follower, this will help to know who is getting the info!

June meeting

NO Meeting for June.

Happy Father's day to all!

Hope to see you all soon.

May Meeting Confirmations

So far I have the following couples confirmed for coming to the meeting:

The Dunn's 

The Donohoo's

The Chase's

The Bass' (Courtney is sick-send a prayer!)

We will share a meal at 6pm, then have our video and discussion and for our date activity we will have fellowship. Possibly a movie for the guys and a game of Mexican Train for the ladies. 

Leave a comment if you would like to bring a salad, dessert or appetizer. Also, any other changes or comments! We are looking forward to seeing you all on Saturday!

May Meeting

Our Meeting is May 23rd! (4th Saturday of each month)

Meet at the Dunn's home, as of now no other details are confirmed.  

(update coming soon)

I would love to make some confirmations on the different areas some of you have offered to participate in planning and organizing for our group. The best way I know to confirm this is for you to post your area and that way each of us can see who we are working with in each area. More than one would be great that way one can take charge and have a back up. 

• Prayer partner and Encourager - sending prayer over the needs, congrats & celebrations
• Hosting planner - planning where the meeting will be held
• Events planner - planning our dates and extra activities 
• Food planner - planning snacks or meals for meeting (who brings what, ect.)

Post your ideas for this months date activity!

April

NO MARRIAGE LIFE GROUP MEETING THIS MONTH!

We look forward to seeing everyone next month. 

Everlasting Love

You know you are experiencing an example of Christ when your marriage relationship reflects the everlasting relationship and friendship that Christ promises us. Not because all things are perfect, but because you learn to trust one another and work through the various obstacles life deals you. 

He promises to love us in spite of our faults and failures. He promises to be trustworthy and He will never leave us nor forsake us. He does not abandon us in our time of need, on the contrary, He is there to see us through to the other side and rejoice as we discovery victory. Isn't that what our relationships are supposed to reflect? 

You know there is a divine love present beyond your own ability when troubles arise, trials hit and failures are in your face and the one who vowed to love you does not turn away, but instead turns toward you, comforts you and covers you with grace.   

Far to often in our life time we learn that relationships don't last, whether it be from examples of failed marriages, friendships or family relations. Yet this is not the guide God desire for us to follow nor the example we ought to give. He provides us with a guide which gives us hope that we have a true everlasting love, relationship and friendship, which will not fail us. This is to be the model of our marriage relationship, friendships and family relations. 

I praise God as my everlasting love and thank him for the blessed marriage and lifelong friend he has given me!

Redemptive Behavior

This month's message was all about reflecting the redemptive behavior of our Savior! 

Here are a few of the points Jimmy Evan's made in his teaching, Our Secret Paradise, session 2:

1. Preparation is important to a marriage relationship, but we cannot inoculate our marriages from hurt or problems completely. 

2. We have a calling to reflect the redemptive behavior of our Savior in our relationships. Not operating in the "Hide & be condemned" a "Tit for Tat" or "Revenge" attitudes. 

3. We should deal with the hurt and frustration while it is still today, that we do not let the sun go down on our anger and give the devil a foothold. Deal with truth in love. 

4. Confess to God & one another our wrong behavior, seeking the guidance of His Holy Spirit, forgiveness of our sins and begin the healing by taking responsibility for our wrong doing, repent. (Do not so deceive yourselves by hiding from the truth, pretending or avoiding the issue) 

5. Be careful when you think the problem lies mostly in the faults of others, because you may very well be a part of the problem. 

6. Abuse is not the same thing as relational endurance through hurtful times and struggles. Abuse is intentional behavior to harm another or oneself and that is an area which needs extra help, some times at a safe distance. 

The hope is in reflecting the proper image. 

We are created in the image of God through Christ as our Savior!

 

We do not have to remain condemned. 

We do not have to react to attacks. 

We do not have to retaliate for justice.

We do not have to refuse to serve the needs of others.

We do not have to revisit past failures.

We can repent and renew our strength in the Lord and reflect His redemptive behavior!

January 2009

New Year and new beginnings! 

We have started a new series for this session, 'Our Secret Paradise'  by Jimmy Evans. 

[some material is straight from the video &/or book]

First session we covered:

1. The secret for building a lasting marriage

Whether your marriage is in a season of great joy, a little rocky or simply on the back burner this will be a great opportunity for all those who want the BEST God has to offer by providing us with the tools to have the kind of marriage He desires and designed for us, one of great pleasure, healing and success. 'The only time it is to late, is when we are not willing to give in to His will and invest what we have been given.'

Secret One - Triumphant Realism 

We all come with some form of broken heart or 'messed up' as Jimmy Evans would say, as we enter into marriage. Some hide it, some confront it and others ignore it. People, circumstances and the reality of our lifestyles will disappoint us and leave us believing some lies, which will hurt the marriage relationship over time. However, God has provided us 'The Way, The Truth & The Life', in Jesus Christ, for healing and he gives us the tools and directions to change us from the inside out, which will affect your mate as well. 

Far to often people enter into marriage with wrong expectations such as: 

I call these a 'Waste of Belief'.

• We will never have problems as long as we love each other. 
• As long as I do all the right things, I can make my mate happy. 
• Sometimes you just need to pretend things are 'ok' and they'll go away.
• Telling my spouse what I expect will ensure I get what I need.
• Everyone else may have problems, but we never will. 
• Oh, I picked the perfect one, and he/she will never hurt me. 
• 'For better or worse' doesn't mean our marriage will ever deal with the worse.
• Being nice will fix all things in our marriage.
• Everyone else might have problems, but not us. 
• Little things are not going to bother me. 
• I believe there is such a thing as the perfect marriage, and we will be it.
• Everyone will encourage if we struggle. 
• Family and friends will appreciate our marriage, which will make us stronger.   

Though these are only a few wrong ideas people have going into marriage there are many more. We must be real with ourself and with each other, that as long as there is a relationship which requires two people there will be a time of conflict, which could result into hurt. Now, not everyone will have the some problem, nor does everyone deal with it the same, but as long as we live in this earth we will encounter problems and that is reality. The issue is how will we deal with it?

The hope of our marriage, will prosper in the relationship we have by faith with God our loving Father through Jesus Christ. Build your house upon the Rock of Christ Jesus and you will build a house that can withstand any storm. He will speak peace into your hearts and calm the storms around you and He will deliver you to the other side safely. 

Our hope is not in knowing all the right set of rules, doing all the right deeds and knowing all the things to say. It's not in being the nicest person or even meeting every need of your spouse out of your own ability. However, we are all created with some very important needs in our soul, which is our thoughts, emotions and desires. God created us to be relational and with these very real needs for the purpose of finding true fulfillment by his spirit. 

• Purpose 1 - is to draw closer to our Creator as his child, with a conviction to want all his love, acceptance, inheritance and to be known as His child. By faith, we trust in his love, we receive his love through grace, believing we are accepted and that he has great plans for us to live with purpose, that we would identify ourselves through the image of his character. ("As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man" Proverbs 27:19)

• Purpose 2 - is to reveal him and his love to others by not being self focused, but a giver, as He is the giver of all good and perfect things. Then we will seek to invest in the needs of others out of the gratitude of our heart and a deeper love as we love others through a different heart. ("For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!" Galatians 2: 19-21) 
  

We are creatures of habit, learning every minute of everyday, training ourselves by what we absorb. The question is what are we absorbing? Should it surprise us when we continue to absorb the same thing over and over that we will also release the same thing over and over? 

 

We are like sponges, dry and eager to absorb, then easily over saturated and finding ourselves needing to be rung out - a sponge cannot do any of these things on it's own, it needs someone to help it through the process of its purpose. It can be used for many things and some will last longer than others. 

So what is our source of help? What are we absorbing? What are we ringing out? Unlike, the sponge which cannot choose, we have been given such a privilege and the ability to choose our source of help, our contents to absorb which will result in what we ring out?   

Questions to consider: 

Who's love do I reflect? (my earthly parents or my heavenly Abba-Father)

Who's acceptance do I seek most? (people or my Father's)

How do I reflect my value of inheritance? (material possessions or my Father's Kingdom)

When I look in the reflection of the water's, who's face do I see? (mine or the image of Christ)

What purpose do I live for? (worldly success or my Father's will) 

I pray Father, through the powerful name of my Lord Jesus-your only son, as you stand in my place to intercede for me. I pray with faith, that we would learn to face truth in the light of your Truth. May we live in the Way you have purposed for us, that we would have the Life you so graciously give to us. Father help us to know, how much you love us, how much you value us, and how much you delight in our relationship with you. Help us to know you as our Abba-Father. Help us to see the error of our own way and repent quickly in order that your healing would come quick. Help us not to be so self focused but walk according to your spirit to give and meet the needs of others as you provide. Help us to be humble, patient, forgiving and long-suffering by faith as we trust you throughout our struggles. Abba, help us to grow in our marriage in such a way that only you could receive such praise, honor and glory. May our marriage reflect your work of grace and our lives be an example of your giving spirit through your amazing love. I thank you for the work you are doing and will continue to do, you will bless these marriages as they make the commit to invest more in you, invest more in each other and invest more in this group. May your blessings overflow by the power of your name Jesus!

2008 Topic overview

We covered many great topics throughout our time together in 2008. 

Here are some of the other topics we covered in the series 'Marriage on the Rock' by Jimmy Evans. 

1. Priority
2. Pursuit
3. Possession
4. Purity
5. Positive Communication
6. The basic needs of a man
7. The basic needs of a woman
8. Covenant relationship
9. Principles of financial success
10. Raising great kids

 

Marriage Life Group- recap

Our group has been together for about 1 year now. The group continues to change, grow and develop as we continue. Since not everyone was able to come to each meeting, I would like to share a few of the principles we can refer back to. 

Last year we went through the study titled, "Marriage on the Rock" by Jimmy Evans. 

Here are some of the principles shared in his teaching: (Session 1) 

[some of this material is straight from Jimmy Evans' book, Marriage on the Rock while other parts are my personal inspiration.]

1. The most important issue in Marriage - The number one thing a couple can do for their marriage is make sure that each other has a true deepening relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ!

a. What are some of the needs you think we all have?

- acceptance

- identity

- security

- purpose

What are some of the ways we seek to fulfill their deepest needs?

• People
• Lust
• Career
• Money
• Material possessions
• Hobbies

Things to consider:

• Do you expect your spouse to make you happy?
• What expectations of needs do I put on my spouse to meet that only God can meet?
• Is my inner joy, peace and fulfillment easily disrupted when things don't go the way I want, or when people don't believe the way I think they should?
• Am I confident that my life is built on knowing who I am in Jesus, and that no matter how people behave or how situations turn out, I am secure? 

Talk it out - 

1. Talk about ways to depend more on the Lord to meet your needs.
2. Make a commitment to each other to depend on the Lord, not your spouse, to meet your deepest needs by investing 
3. Confess your wrong doing to one another and ask forgiveness to begin the healing process for both of you. Confession allows you to acknowledge truth, take responsibility and release guilt. 
4. Commit to pray for each other to experience the grace of The Father's love in a new and deeper way.
5. Commit to pray you will see the error of your own ways and desire to allow God to help you change.

Scriptures covered: Galations 6:2; Romans 12:15; Proverbs 28:26; Jeremiah 17:5, 7-8; Proverbs 11:28; John 6:35; Psalms 125:1; Proverbs 29:25; John 4:1-42

Here are some suggested ideas for investing in your marriage: 

• Praying alone
• Praying together
• Reading, Studying and applying the truth of God's Word
• Reading devotional's & books about marriage
• Attending church
• Fasting with prayer
• Going on a retreat together
• Seek counsel with those who encourage you in truth
• Join a group who desires to grow through Christ    

I pray blessings over each marriage in Jesus name!